I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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