So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
