dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
