Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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