What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
