T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
