I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
