Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
