It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
