positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
