Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
