Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
