so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
