Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
