Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This baby is an asshole
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
