You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
