where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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