im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
