if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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