maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
