is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize