There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
