You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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