i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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