I didn't shave. On purpose
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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