..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
