drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
