shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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