Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
