You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
