My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
