I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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