He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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