i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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