I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
