Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
