When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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