there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
