Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
