is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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