Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
