guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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