yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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