How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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