Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry winniebabi hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera

(908): View more from New Jersey

She didnt have a camera...

Fav 6 1388 1969
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.

Fav 16 1935 816
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell

Fav 9 3611 954
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.

Fav 16 1140 1963
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings

Fav 2 1847 2950
share tweet
(479): View more from Arkansas

Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.

Fav 3 2824 1319
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(252): View more from North Carolina

My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.

Fav 19 1515 3352
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(479): View more from Arkansas

These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.

Fav 1 409 215
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.

Fav 0 51 26
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT