Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize