I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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