I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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