Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
