What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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