The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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