I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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