I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
