hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
