He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
