I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
