he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
