Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just gift wrapped bread.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
