on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
