Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
