why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
